We hear a lot about change throughout our lives; we experience a lot of change, too. We all agree that change is inevitable, though most of us believe it certainly isn’t desirable. Often change comes sweeping into our lives, dramatically altering the landscape we have worked so hard to establish. During those moments, especially, it is hard to view change as something meant for our betterment. You may even have found yourself feeling this way during and after your divorce.
But the truth is that change is a good thing, and in order to have a successful life, we have to be accepting of the changes that take place. Adaptation may seem like a survival strategy, but by adapting, we are also growing. By accepting and adapting to change, we are ultimately making a choice in the direction of positive personal development.
It usually takes time and perspective to see the benefits of change. In addition to our divorce, most of us can easily look back on our lives and recognize times of change that at first seemed destructive rather than productive. Looking back also provides the necessary view of seeing how everything has actually turned out okay – that the difficult changes that took place did in fact bring about personal growth, opened new doors of opportunity and offered unexpected shifts in seeing ourselves differently.
So the next time change brews up in your life…and it will… try shifting your perspective, approach it differently, and remember the following…
1. View the change as an opportunity for personal growth. See and accept change as a way of personally developing into more than you thought you could be. Find that inner strength you never knew you had! Bettering your life can only happen by first removing what is holding it back. The ‘old set’ has to be torn down first before a new, more vibrant one can be built. This is the only way circumstances will improve.
2. Recognize that change is hard to swallow in just one gulp. Give yourself the time you need to accept change on your own internal timetable. We each have our own internal clock that is different than anybody elses. We transition through many stages of change that can range from denial on the one hand to commitment on the other. This process takes a different amount of time for each person. Surrender to the process and accept however long it will take to work your way through these stages of change. If others can get through change quickly, good for them. Go only at the pace that’s right for you!
3. Conserve your energy. People spend so much energy fighting and resisting change rather than using their energy in more productive ways of acceptance and letting go. We can choose to channel our energy in more positive ways that can make us feel empowered to deal with change rather than seeing ourselves as mere victims to change. When we direct our energy
toward more positive ways of dealing with change, we invariably create better outcomes in our life.
4. Accept change. Don’t just give the change in your life a handshake… embrace it! Welcome the chance to emerge from your difficult situation with much more strength than you possibly imagined you possessed. Strength brings confidence, and confidence is the necessary precursor to success.